Editorial
Monograph on the impossibility of press
by R. J. Frogvarian, Correspondent
[The following text is intercut with Correspondence symbols; nothing is set on fire, but your eyes water and sting, making it very hard to make out the words.]
I̛̟̯̺̩͚̕ͅt̴̗̝̰̻ ̛͉̖̹̳͜ì̻̭͍͔̲͢s̢͕̣͕̤̣̪̥ͅ ̴̷̫̮̘͞t҉͎͙h̜̜ẹ̻̰̙̘͔ ̜̪̮̟̳̬͖ţ̪̞̻͙̜̣̳r̶͉̲̖̹̪͖̹̜͢u̡̧̜̗̭̯̝t͈̰͔̺́̕h̷̡̲̙̳͙̜̰̘ ̖̯̹̬̰̠͝o̷̢̠̣̼̳̪̱̮͓͟f̴̜̪̫̪̝͟ ҉̳̠̭͝t̵͖h͏̢̝̻͠e̴͈̯̖̬̥̙ ̀͡҉̻̙̘̰͙m̪͔̻̪̻͟͝ͅͅa̝̯͚̞͎͢t̳͖̣̝͟͡t̩̣̹̼̦̭͙͠e̶̥͠ͅr̛̭̖͓͡͞ ͟͏̟̤̫͍͓͓̝̀t̴̳̟̳h͟҉̫͈̲̜͍͕̜ḁ̫̣̣̞̝̕͞ͅt̯̜̀ͅ ̬͖̣̱͈͝s̥̜̘̞̤̣̮̪ơ̟̳̥̥̹̹̩̭m̷̨͓̥͈̱̟͡ͅͅe̛̯ ͇̲̩̘͍͉͔̝L̵̨̜̼ͅa̢̻̰̺͉̝ͅw̸̻̰̝̲̖̹͙̙̕s̛̙̹̺̯̼͎͠ ̡͖̥̼̥̤͟ḑ̷̟̘͉͖͖̥̮͖o̦̳͞ ̷̶͍̼̬͚͞n҉̼̤̣͖̥̠̳̱ͅo̶̸̩̤̹̭͖͓t̴̡̖ ̩̘̕w̲͙͠o̫̹͢͡͝r͉̣k̼̖̙̰͎̞͡ ̡̲̜͕͎͉̻a͉̲͞s̸̙̠̙̰̣̫̤̜͝ ͙̞̗̹͔͢͡p̟͖̙̰͓̫͜ŗ̹̹̳o̜̗̰͚̞̮̰̭͢p̵̡̯̹͚è͔̩̺͈͔͉̥r͡҉̵͓̖̥̪̣̫̦l̡͈͔͠y͈̱͔̥̗̬̕ ̥͇̖̭̪̯̭̱͡ạ͓̰s҉̞̗̬̱̠̝̤̲̀͜ ̬̳̪͚͜͠ţ͍̺̪̯̮̞̪h̼̙̖̥́ȩ̝̟̞̞y̶̨̫̻̞̞͈̥̦͜ ̦̰̙̝s̷̹̗̰͓̤̘̥͜ͅḩ͓̖͉̩͞o̤͓̳͕͢͠u̵̩̱̺ḻd̮̜͔̺͇͢.̡͚̞̪̗͎ ̨̥͕͎̱̲͟N̬̩͖o͔͚̥͎͙̙͉͕̦t͇͉͚͎̮̖̀ ͢͏̳̳͠m̥͙̜̺a̴͓̩͍̹̦͠ṋ̷̞̞̤͕͙y̡̧͉̹͔̘̮ ̱̳̫̦̗̟̝c̛̺̳͚̳̣̫͘͜ͅa̕͏̯̮͚̖͚̭͔n͖̖͢ ̺̮́ș͔̣͉͍̩̹̘͘e̯̦̪͔͈͖̰̖͢é̦̲͕̙̣͕̲ ̛͕̮́t̴̗̭͢h̡̙͈͢i̛̱̯͓͘s̨͇̗̻͈̞̝͇͕,̣̩ ̷̸͉ͅs̘̙͍̜̰̥̤o̷̰̳̮̺̪̦͈͡ ̵̻̝̦̥̳̣̞f̛̫͎̟͙̜e̺͕͡͝w͙̭ ̼̠a̢̙̜̤r̶̖̬͉̠̰̹̟͟͞ͅe̗͔͘ ͓͔̻͡͠g͉̘̬̗̀i҉̡̻̺͉͔ͅf̻̥̻͔̗̤̠͉͢t̨̺͇̞̥e̗̟d̼̰̜̣̲͕̞̟͘ ҉̜w̷͉̳̮͕̻̦̹͝ͅi̷̭̱͕̕͠t͕̗̯͖̖̬͖h̙̳͞ ͎̤̬̦̺̕͘t҉͏̼͕̳͉̫h̸̸͈͉̣̟͙͟e̢̼̲͇͖̮̯͈ ̨̭̬̩̤͘s̡̺̪̝̀i̶҉̗̳̤g͉͙͠h̪̱̟͓̳̙͘͜t̷̻̬͈̗̞͕̗͎͝.̷͕̟̲̰̥̪̣̰͟ͅ ̷̩̜͚̯̣͙N̛͔͕̤͚̟o̢̤̲͎̝͚͢w̸͡҉̪̖̖,̕͟҉̹̙͕̺̠̪̪͕͔ ̥̦̬͙͖͈̦̦ͅt̛̻͜͡o̴̫͡ ̶̶͔̺̪̱͚d̸̘̰̩̖̼͜į̭̲̘̰͞͝v̸̹͈̜͙ͅͅé̥̝r̭̬g͏̗̫͙̝̜̟ȩ̶͏͓̙̻̖͚̳̱ ̛̞̝͕̟̠̟a̗̭̜͎̙͍̪͖̼ ̫̦̯͉̺̹͘͡l̹̣͔̺̥̰̭̹͟i͈̬͎̥̞̥͢t̵̠͍͎̬͚̗̜͡t̸̖̺͎͢ĺ̛͔̬e͈̙̕ ̹̯̣̮̙ͅ-͍͝ ͏̼͓͔͙̮͞ͅw͓h̶̢̟͎͙̪̳͎̹̜͙á̝̱͉͈̪̹͢ţ̴̝̼ ̯̻̺̝̱̞a̞̰͉̩̫͢ͅr̶̛̬̙̙̪͡e̶̢̳̟̭̝͓͔̭ ̵̠̜̫y̘͈̹̩͓̹̯͘o̵̶̰̩͕̳͖̮̕u̼̭̖͉͇̣͢ ҉̹͉̻̫͟d̛͚̙ò̤͖̲́͜i̸̖͔ͅn͏̻̝̩͓̦̻̜g̼͜͝,̦̹̹͈̩̙̩̕͜ ̷̷͉͖̪r͈̤̝͖͖̱͟ẹ̖̗̟͉͜a҉̥̠͚͇̦̞̤̹̹d̵͝͏͈̖̙̞͚͉i̶̷͖̹̠̙̦n̪̻͢g̢̦̼̲̝͕͘ ͏̦̯ͅţ̷̰h̫͚̹̗̦̼͠ͅi̷̬̞̯̘̪ͅs͎̫͉̘̝!̵̮̳̣̤̫̙?̨̟̲ ̧̯͇͙̘Ỳ̲̬̼͔̙o̶̙̞̼̭̭u̘̺̞̳̦ͅͅ ̡̞̤͓̗̙͢w҉̞͖̱͓̬͙̥͘e̵͚ͅr҉̘̰̰͇̳̖̮̳e̷̦̫̭̞͝ͅ ̤͍̰̘̗n̢͚̼͔̙̪̪o͉͚̝t̵̠̤͖̠͜ ̵̛̮m̨̮͕̯̻̼̜̮̕͘é̷͎̟̼͓a͢͏͕̱̫̫̳̰̘̱n̨̖̮͔t̢̲͕ ̵̨̪̩͘ţ̨̤̫̣͕͚̘̫ò̖͓͕͟͡ ̨̥̱̦̮̹̲̦̟͠s̜͉̩͓̘̭̪̮͘͡ȩ̵̻̘̲͓̹̘̪̖e͏̢̹̺͍̹̣͓͕͙ ̱͙̤͍̳͙̹͇ͅt̛̼̣̖̬̦̲̲h̵̫͈̤͖̮̗́i̹̝̰͍͎̮s̶̗̗̤̟͇ͅ!̣͕̞̳̟̟̀ ͚͈̟̬̯̝̖̤͘͟͟I̵̤̝ṭ̡̳͕̗̱͔̰̥͓͡ ̴̡̺͈̺͚͔͓i̩͇̻̻̙̬̻̠͎͝ş̦̪͍̫͖̹̟̬̖ ̺̱̞̥̬̲̖͘͞a̵̤̰͉͙̰ḽ͈̮̣̭͙̜͡l̵̷̟̥̘̠̀ ͕̦̠͇͡ḁ̛͔̹̙ ̙̫̤̲̳͘͡ͅj̶̟̭͙͖e̲̮̗̬͖͉̮̘s͇t̶̖͎̤̮̪̤̞̥̝,͎̻͕͍̮͇̦͢ ̡̗y̠̩͓̥̗͔o̜͈̺̤̺̭̻͟ͅư̵̴̦͇ ̛̖̼̫͈̮̲̤s̶̨̙̩͞e̸̮̙̻̕e̷̪͙̬̦̪͟!͏̰̤̀ ̥͇̩̯̫͎͇̖͈Ą̛̪̘̙͓͈̼̺ ̶̢͙̖r̨҉͖̝̭̮u̮̭̻̬s̡̞͙͕͙̘͕̗̀͞e̛͎̺͕̱͉!̸҉̸̭ ̧̫̦̥̲̤ͅF̵̡̖͘o̤͙͇̲̳r҉̣͖̞͖͝ ̴̲̹̣̰̰̦͖͙̥̕I̟̞̭̳͝ ̸̲̬̥̬̭n̴̝̞̼̼͈͕͚̝̝͢͝e̢̥̜̦͎̘͔̜͟è̶̹̻̩͔͔͇͟d͙̪̺͎̮͜͟͞ḙ̟̻̙d̰̺ ̻̮͔̖͎͜a̕͠͏͙̞̟̻̳̲͈ ̨͔̞̬͎̤̻̠̦͟t̛̩͓̟̲̫̪̼e̶͔̜̭̣̣̦x͖̦̮̟̠͙́t̡̳̲͚̗̦̹̜̜ͅ ͠͏̥͉͎̙̮̜t͖̹̲̕͡o̭̟̘̩̙̺̹͡ ͈̼͘͜i̵̬͈̫͍n͍͖͎͙͈p̸̰̰̟̪̗͍͜ͅú̡҉̞̟͉̙̖t̸̢̡̼̝ ̴̛̤̯i͉͙͎͎̠̞ͅn̡̛̞̞͔͟ ̪͚̗͠p̛̗̬̫̯̳̰̣͙ļ̯̫͇̤̯͇̪̹͓a̪̤̻͈̕c̛͖̙̝̪̫e̡̦͔̪̻̬͙͞ ̷̘̝͜o̗͢f̨̩ ̠̫a͉͖͓͎̼͟ṋ̢̙̰͚͝ ̨͎͕̺̟̥ͅE̶̪d̞͔̯̞̪̀̕i̶҉̩̺͖̼͔͖t͏̟̣̝̳͇͕̯͇ͅo̴̪̼r͙̖͈̞̦̙̼͘i̮͙̣̖͘ͅa̬̗̙͖̪͚̪̦̕͠l҉̵̵̯̩̙,͎̮̺́͢͢ ̜̭͟t̪̳ơ̵͎̝̩ ̨̨̗̤̲ͅs̀͏̻̪̙͓̳͙̖͉i̱̖͍̱͕͖̤̫͈͜͠g̸̫̱̖̥̰n͈̰̤͖̗͢a҉̡͕̜̟͎ļ̨̯͈̻͎̙́i̴̩z̜͘͝ͅe͕͔̺̬̦͞ ̸̭͓͓̳́d̞͚̙͔̠̭ͅͅḙ̼̲̖̖͍̟̟͙͝a̴̶͍̗r̟̼͎͠ ̷̹̫̞̪͔̱ͅR͚’̛̙͇̳̤̭̮̘̥̕ş̸̳̻̩͇͔̰̝ ̭̰͓̜̙̪̫͎́r͜҉̘i̙̕s̨͇͇͕͕͚͎͍͖͟e͚̜̞̻ ҉͖̻͡t̼͉̞̗͎͙͟͟o̲̙ ̴̨̻̗̘̘̤̣̬̞̪t̵̝̲͜h̵̡̞͉̰̳̼̠̤͉ḙ̹̀͢ ͕̩̱̯̰̣s̫͚̻̗̲͕̻͞t҉̳̖̥̭̭̫̥̭͜a̷̖͇̙͝ͅṭ̢̨̻̜̫̲̯ͅu̡̜̞̟͚̬̪͜͡s̷̶̬̦̙͖ ҉͇̜̜̰̱ò͖̝͎̬͜f͈̀ͅ ͏̤͔͚ͅa̛̝̗͍̤͓͖̗ ̫̞͓̝͟͠ͅC̸͏͉̻̯̭̳ó̯̟͟͠r̷̢̙̼̫͎̺̤̕r̯͍ę̵̣͓̪͈̬̜̜s̱̰͙̻͍̣͉̲͡ͅp̪̟ó̦̜͈̘͙̣n͈͔͚̣̥͎͇͚̮͠d̜͓͉e̝̱͔̣͕n̷̖̻͉͜ͅt̢̛͎̦̭͠ͅ.͍̞̘̰̥̫̭͍̕͞ ̫̻̮̕ͅN̷̩͉̪̱̩̟͎ạ̶̢̯̮̘̣̱̕ṯ̤̘͉̣ͅų͉̼͝ͅr̩̹̦̳̦̠a̻̙͍̫̙̯l҉̶̟͟l͈͈͕̱͎̞̪͡͠ͅͅý̘̝́,̴̱̩̰͓͍͚̙ͅ ̭̜̹̟͍̜͚̙̀Ì͔̞͔̠ ̤̪̥̥̮͜c̳͈̕͘a̳͔̟͎̖ǹ̩̫̖̙͍n̰̲̫ọ̱͕̱̩̗̦ṯ̨͎̥̳͔ ̴̢̛̳m̵̭͚̜̻͟a̯͉k̶̮̥e͎̰̩̥ ̬̘̠̞̦̯̻͟s̮̮̲̺u̗̼͈̲̲͘ͅc͙̻̪̼̝͎ͅh̴̼̦͜ ̨͎̖͖͙̹̞͜b̞o̸̬̟̳̞͙̜̜̕l̡̼͇͡d̴̶͎ ̘̺c҉̳̜̟̗͖͙̗͍̦l̷̺͍̜ͅa̫͉͉̤̥i̡͏͈̪̯̜̺̘̙̻m̘̱̱̰s̻̩̖͎͘ ̠̯̫̬̖a̢̨̖̹̼̲̞̙s̲̯̠̟̲ ̨̨͇t̩͖̪͕̤h̢̢̬̜̀o̥̻͜͡ś̶̠̟͖̯̦͎ę͖̘̥͎͓̘͝ ̶̹̯̦͡o͖̣̬͕̙͟f̛̯̺̙̰͢͝ ̖̟̙͞t̷̙̖̹̬̮̠̙͇ͅḩ̪͔̳e̴͈̜͓͙̼̰̰̬̟ ҉̩͕ṉ͙͜o̢̨̬̦̮̝̜t͎̼̳͍̩̘ą͚̹̹̜̖͘b͉͇̗̹̟̞̮̣͝͞l͓̯͖̳͟͝͡e̡̳̣̫͔ ̭̻̀p̵̙̥̩ŕ̰̭̬͖ò̲ͅf͇̗̮̮̼͍̝̳͉́͢͞e̖͓͍̥s̢̟͔̝̹̗̼̞͓͜͢s͓̺͍͢͜i̵̸̩͖̖̻ó̮͎̲̥̥̭͇͍͝ņ͈͕̭̺̱͘͢,̵͇̼͓͕͍͡ ̺̩̕͜s̕҉̗͢o̦̝͇̯͇̮̲͘͟͠ ̡҉̥͈̹͉͕͙͉̪I̷̛̪̯͕̰̠͘ͅ ̶̤͉̺̝̻̜̘̳͍͞o̗̤p̴̨̟͈̳̠͜ͅt̵̮̯͖̻͓̝͈̹̕͜e̺͇̣̻̬d͎͍͍̩̫͓͉ ̶̷̴͙͇̭̮̘͎̗͖̺t̤̹̪̝̝̫o̧̟̮̩͖͈̰͕ͅ,̢͉̠̀ ̹̫ͅi̴̳̖̰̦̣͎̰n̛̝͈̤̥s̶̠̙͈͙̞͈̞̙t̷̝͟e̷̤̞͎͙̮̬͢͠ạ̞̥̖͔͔̪́ḏ̬̣͙̠͔͉͍͢ͅ,̵̥̞̳̯̫̻͓́ ̡̫̖͎̰̼̟ͅw̛̱̝͚̗̗̖̤̙̹͡͞r̻ì͡҉̺̠̮̱̜̪̲̺ͅt̸̛̖̩̞̝̘̗̦͟ͅe̟̻̹ ̷҉͚̗̦̹͔̹̬ͅt҉̵̥͉͖̞͉̲̹h̶̩̻̣̳̀ḭ̣̘̣̤̗̩͞s̡̖͘.̻̯͈̮̘̀͟ ̜͓̪͙̮͎̦̀D̢̜̻̤͓̗̩͚o̭͈̝̱̜͔͖̹ ̜̬͈̱̕ẹ͚͇̀n̙͍̞̩͜j̮̬͎̠͍͚o̴̯̼̰ý̢̳̠̤̀,̯̱ ͍̯̫́͡͠d͈̯͎̣̯ȩ̛̦̝̮̺̝͔͍͖͚͘a҉̯͍̱̗͚ͅŕ̥̤̙̺̥͟s̸̙̯͍.̼̙̥̖̪ ͈̞͔͇̰̲̫͘͞I͏̠̟̩́t̤̭̦͎̬̝ ̻̫̻̲d̡̡͈̖̹͉͟o̺͎̭̣̠̟͉̲͟͝e̵̶͖̜̖͚̞ş̟̰̫̙͡ ̶̨̨̦̜ͅͅt͇͓͍̹̗͇a̶͕̞̳̫͔̹̜͞k̬̝̞̤̯͉e̷̴̷̤̭̲̬͔̘͚̲ ́͢͏̝̹̖̱a̷͙̱̳̘͈̲̤̠͢͡ ̸̧̞̳̠͙̗͕̤͟ļ̞̠͠o͙͕̥̺͡t̙͜͢ ̷̫̕o͈̻̩͖̻̜͞f̸̧̰͎ ̶͍̠̳͖̫̹w̬̞̠͉̦͈̭͢ǫ̴͙̘̙̹̖̦̣ŕ̸̬̬̱̤͈̹̗̜͔k̠̝̬͖͖̩̞͡ ̮̥̬̬̫̺̘̱̗̀ǫ̟̹̦̬̱̞͠f̴͕̬f̶͏̪͚ ̣̲̝̗͖̻͡o͉̦̝f̶̞̩̬͚̮͓̥̦̻ ̟̱̖̩̙ͅm̡̥̥y͚͟ ̸҉̮͙̘͎̬s͚͚͙͚̪̭͎͘͜h̡͚̝̤̘̻͙̻̟͜ͅo̧̝̘̜u҉̮̰̙̦l̠̞͕̳͠ͅd̷̡̰̰̹̹̱è͏̫̩r̴̹̳̰̯̮̲s̙̻͉̣̪̻̝̗͖͝.̳͔̦ ̱̞̞̥̳̟͜Ṯ̞͈̮̖͎̩̖̼͢i͍̹͡͠r̛̮̱̦̬̺̩̖̜͢ì̝̤̳̜̭̣͡n̛̝ͅg̷̣̞̺͖̳̞͉͞ͅ ̴̛͇̝d̶̵͇̮͕a͏̴͔̜̣̕y̵͈͙͔̳̯̩͇ͅs̝͓̲͕̖͕̬͢,̗̗͟ ̘͙̺̀͜t͓̗̮̙̜͘͜h̝͖͉͜e̛̙̣̼͇̗̻̭̰͠s̡̛͏͇̝e̡̗̹͡ ̵̞̳̘̤̤̤̼a̶̜̺̟͓̦̥̲͟͝ͅr̡̖̣̦e͙͖̲̫̣̕.̟̬̱͉͜ͅ ̷͓̱̕Ḫ̬̭̙͈̖̥͞o̟̖͖͢w̝͈͈̠̠͎͘͝ ̧̢̟̫̺̕à̧̨͈̦̼̟̲̩͈̫r̫͉͉͖͙͇̮̺è͓͖͖̭͓̟͜ ͏҉̢̯̘ͅy̵̹̻͍̪̭̜͞ǫ̵̭̪̬͓̙̯u͚̗͕,̷҉̟͙͉ ̼̬̫̞̬̺͈̩͡͝i̸̴͉̤̪͝n̜ ̸̧̭̜̣̰̬̤a̛̼̺̩̻͙̲̤̖͟͝n̷͙͕̘͞y̩̭͍̲̫ͅ ̜̣̝͇̝c͠҉̖̞̪a̸͏̳͉͕̤̼̘̯͙͜s͔̺̥̣̝͝e͕͓̤?̟͕̪͠ͅ ̯̟͚͍̺̞͟H̦̭̳̻̫̗͍̙̥o̦̫͠w̸̨͙͖͖’̸̨͇̪̗͚̻̤͖s̴͎̦̪̤͠ ̸͕̭̫͟t̷̟̗̻̞ḩ̺͓̜͖͙͎e̴̮͈͜ ̯̤̥̬͎̟k̛͖̤̗̖̰̬̘̜i̙̘͚̳͔͇͟d҉̣̠s̞̼͍͡?̸͚̱̻̳̮̼̖͈͘ͅ ̡̦͇̟̳̹͝͠T҉̱̦̻̝̼ͅh̭̼͕͖̗͞ͅͅe̛̞̹̬̪̭͠ͅ ̛͎͍̜̘͘w̶̼i̸̸҉̫͓͍̙̳͚͍f̡͕̠͍̙̀e͏̥̦?̸̞̮͈̪̕ͅ ͙̳̹̟̩̩͝ͅH̠̫̠o̼̯̰̞̳͓̱̕͢w̶̡̥͚̗̫̜̹̮ ̷̲̻̰̻͖̲͔̥à̵̻͍͚r̩̮̹̕͝͞e̶̩̘͟ ̜͖̣̀y̡̟̜̳̝͖̫͘o͝҉̮͓͇̳͕̼ͅu̷̼͔͈ ̨̭̝͇̰s̺̥͖̘͙t̵̥̦̕i̹͓̺̯̖̙̻͕̪͡l̵̨̫̩͟l̶̖͈̠̬̣̫ ̧̪͇̹̯ͅṛ̰̘̺͚͉́ͅͅe̴̛̤̱͚͍̭̮̗͚̻͢à̴̙͍̥͔̙̰̻d̸̶̩̲͉̩̩̟͡í̸̞̩͈̰̥͕͉ͅn̬̝g͡͏͇̙̘̬̺ ̢̺͚͖̠̗̠͟ͅt̞̱͔̗̤̱͚́͝h̗͓̣̮͈̮̪̝͠i̥͓͠s͈̫̘̯̬̟͜͜͠!̼́?̝̱́̀ ̗̣̼͖͚͔̟G͖̫͘͢o̼͘o̢̙͉̞̬͓͚͞d̻͈̺̻̙͜͝ ̨̺͇͞L͙̙̬̳̯̙͜͢o̜̝̞r̵̞̻̮̹̝̝̪d͈̳̼̳͕͎̲͠ͅ,̧҉͉̭̤͎̣̳̟ ͖d̨̛̪̹͕̲o̜̩͉̣͇̥̘̯͞͠ͅ ̴̞̘̮̭̣͝t͏̙̰̱ą̞̩̭͈̺͉͘k͝͏͙̼̝͎̜é͖̠͕̻̭̰͓͜ ̵̞̤͉̕͠a̴͝͏̞ ͇̥̞͍̕̕b̸̧̝̬r͏͚̜͙̰͙̦̦͇ͅe̷̼̜̦̘̞a͏̫̼͔̗͙̩k҉̹̙̪̝͈̹̜͈.̡͔̦͈̩̦̟ ̳̜̖̹̝͕̰͉A҉͓̠n͖͍̲̬̫d̲̠͉̩̜̻͖̘̻̀̕ ̵̖̼d̘̦̫̰̹̀ò̜̟̥͍̺͢n̨̛̮̣̣̟̪͈̘͢’͍̪͢͢ṭ̷̝͕̳̙̕ ̶̗̣͙̩͘b̖̲͘è͟͏͕̞̟̻̤͎̪̞̙ ̨̬̜̠̦̟͉ͅs̢͈͕̼̦̹̭͉͈͓o̜̭̮͙̳͚̦͙͝ͅ ̨̪̞͔̀͞h̭̦̲͔̱̫̤̩͚a̶̲͎̼͘ͅr̩̘̕d͙̩͈̥̙̲̘͖ ͠͏̩̜͍̦̰̼͜o̶͍̝̬͜n̨̛̥̺̖̭ ͕͓̩y̠̺̣͉̬̗̬̹o͏҉̟͈̜͖͈͞u̙̹̥̫̘̗̤͖͓r͙̜̼̯̀s͈̞͍̕͢͞e̸͔̗͇̞͉͙ͅl̪̯̥̪̼̹̮̳͘f̴͕̟͜,̴͇̗͖̝̞͈̼̳ ̵̗͔͎̞͜͞a̸̻̹̼̼͇͕ͅl̻͙͍͟͡r̬͈̯̖̀͢ͅị̣̫̜g͏̥̳̞̞̘͘h̶̦̙̤̞̬͔͍͇ͅt̯͓̘̲̙̝͙͜?͘͏͍̳ ̧̳̰͓̞̪̯̳͠L̴̰̞o͏̧̼͙̯̤̤̹̩ͅv͙̘̦͖e̶̛͇̹̤͢ ͈̩̤͉̜̪͟͜͞y̗̦͚͜o͈͙͓̙̟ù̱̮̮̱̗͙̹͇̕r̥̺̯̣͚s̨̮̳͔͕͖͠e҉͝͏̹͖͚̗l̡̻͓͙͇f̴̡̲̼̪̻͔̞͜.̨̖̤͢͜ ̴̡̫͇͎̕I̭̬̬̬̻̻͜͝ ̠͙͘l̸̠̮͞o̤͍̼̼͓̥̬̹͖͞v̷̨̳̺͓̜̥e̖̟̹ͅͅ ̩̩̼͍͘y̸̼̲̭̥ͅǫ̸̯͈͎͈̰͈͠u̡͇͎͈͠͠.̢̯̹͙͖̝̗͓͔͝ ̨͔Ḥ̸̨̫͚͎͓a̫̼̦̯̳͔͚ͅv̛̜̙͚̀e̴̸̫̟͙̖͓ ̙̰̥a̺͙̹̝͠ ̨͎͖̗̀g̴̸̨͇̪̲̻̰͚o̸̜͖͙̕o̝͙̠d̨͖̹̩̤̯ ̶̷̗̬̜̹͞ͅd̺̣̜͈̦͍̗̲̀a̧̛̼̻͔̫̱͍̠y͏̖̠̤̣̻̤.̪͍͢
F̛̼͖̗͚̣͙̥͓̖̀u͚̣̲̙͖͔̱̘ͅr̢̬̞͕̮̗͚͓̀ṱ̮̠̤̹́h̛̳̗̞͖̦̣͙͙̳e̴̬͞r̖̫̹͉̪͉m̪̮̺o̙̘̤̣r̞̗͔̤̠͟e̳͔͘,̸͍̦̹̪̠̮̖̭̕ ̳͚̥͔t̢̹̘̹̥̞̗̜̦͝h҉̫̲͔͇̬̘e҉̘̮ ̥̯̘̦̠̮ͅf̮̙͎̘̝͖̮̺á͔͔̞͢b̨͓͡ͅl̹̼͠ẹ̢̮̗͙̭͖̙͞d̩̖͕̘̣ͅ ̶̱͕̼͕͙̕g̸̭͈͙e̸͟͏̯̘͇n͕̯̯̝̦̺̳͟͠ṱ̵͉͍̜̀͟r̡͍̠̲͠ỳ͎̲͇̰̥̱̦̘ ͍͍̣͖̜̖̼͠͞s̷̮̦̳̱̫̝͞ͅo̺͖̱̠̰͜ ̶͈͖̳̖̟̮͕̥̟́̕o̢̫̼̫̭̥v̢̲̟͙e̝͎̟͍͡r͕̱̰̠͈̥͚ṭ̼͟a̢̻̥͖k̡͉̠͇͍e̙̬͍̙͔̗̯͎͜n̡̰̹̪͓ͅͅ ͓̺̭̪̫̟̦͎͢w̛͏̘̙̼̯̭í̷̩̥̫̭͙t͏҉͈͈̤̬͉͍̠͕̹͜h͕̪̮͉͉͈͕͚͠ͅ ̨̛̬͔͖́i̫͉̭̕t̴҉̫͚ṣ̴̷ ̵͇̲̠̲͍̹̫͓̕͠ͅǫ̦͙̭̜̟̬̤̤ẁ͕͙̰̠̩̻͓͠n̠̰͎̟̩̞̘̤͝ͅ ̬̻̯̬͜a̴͔͙̭͈͍̗b̜̦̯͓͚͉̭ͅş͎̘̱̳̞̥̯̯͢e̜̣̮̪̲̹͈̕n̷͓̙̯̩͎̤͞c̡̘̗̳͓̤̀ȩ҉̞̦̹,̵͕͍͜ ̩̮͍̪̠̬͕͟͞w̞̙̙͇a͓̟̯̠͙͍n̨̝̠͚̖͠t̶̡̻̱̱̰̮͘i̗̜̮͞ṋ̡̡̠̩ǵ̺̳̼̳̙̜̻̻̝ ̥͘͘c̵̺̠̙o͈̬͖n̵̢̻̖̟̖̼̗͙͕t̢͕̦̖̳̠̗͟ṟ̨̣͔͈̖̬̜̤ó̘̖̖͡l̸̵͎ ̸̨̖͈̮̹͉̬͙ͅa̶҉̲̖̪n̨͖͎̬̤͘ͅd̳̺͍̣̭̮̯ ̭͓͎͓̖͚̟̰͘n̤͢o̭̦͙͈̗̪͇͚t̻̼̟͓̲̝͙̘͜ ̡͎͖͙͉̠̫̬͙͉m̩̖̦̜̘̳͍͡o̸̹̱͉̼͇͔̺̤̭r͎̤̖͟e̴̛̼͉̰,̰̪͉̕͘ ̫̪̪̳̱͕̜͖̩͜͢a͏̣̥̭͍̗͖̭͔͈n̪̜̮̥͖͓̟d̶̨͖͍̥̬̠̘ͅ ̷̩͉o͏̟͙̲̞͔̹̦h҉̥͎̱̮͉͈͈͝ ̠̙͍͠͡ͅb̛̹̖͟͞o̰̗̣͕͞y̛͈̞ ͟͟͏͚̯̟͇y̶̡̜̲̯͝ͅe҉̷̧̜̭̤̮̹͚̲̗̭s͙̝̮̞͢ ̵̜̟͎̜̳̹̫Ì̧̤’͏̤m̵̟̜͕͎͉ ̴͏̵̼̘̯͇̭j̨̝͖̠̜̺́́ų̵̤̱̼͘s̙͍̞̙̮͕̭̥͎t͓͙͠ ̵̨͚̺͇͓̞w͉͙̻͍̤͓̠͕̘͜͠r̵̶͎̞͍͓̘̪̙̥i̢̝̳̳̮̜̕ț͔̻̞͍̱i̶̯̖͘͝n̘̟͉̗g͎̲̬̲͙̖ ̠͕̣̗̼̙̪̰̙m̸̱̯̝̕͡o̹̯̖̖̺̗͍͕r̸͈͉̤͓͉͉̣̱e̶̼͈̝͘.͔̙͔͓̘̺͞ ̣͍̼̖̞̦̮ͅI̹͚ ͚͎̣͜n̺̯̲̺ḛ̷̺͇̤ẹ̶͎d̛̜̰͖͟͢ ̴̘̲͔̦̲͕̳̹̞̕t̩̬̺̭̞̕o̯͔̺̹̭̩̥̰̠͠ ̨̱̝͕͞f̷̸͉͉̺̦̙͙ị͈̝͕͔͙͜ͅl̶̵̬̗͎͢l̶̞̯̤͚͞ ̘͍̦̭̣͕̳̀̀o̷̜̗͢͢ṳ̝̤̟̠ͅţ̹̯ ̪͖̦̣̳̤̕s̺̪͕̪̮ͅp̴̞ͅa͔͉̹̮͙͖͘c̛̦̘͕̥͉͙̗͢e̗̲̠͚͓̬̣͢͡,͘҉̧͍̙̺͖̻ ͍̤̤̱̘̺y̖̥̕o͓̼̮̕u̵̡̮̣̞̦̯͉̩̟͝ ̷̵͎͕̹͕̼͝ͅs̵̛̘̣̙̻̦͡e͖̤̳e͉̫̹̠̱͎̝͇̼͘̕?̶̲͇̣̮̙̦̺͠ ͉̼̦̳̙̯̫Ẁ̧͔̣͇̪̝͠ͅe̶̗̺̻̖͢l̝̺̪̥̰̻͓̠ͅl̴̯͞.҉҉̧̪̩ ̡̻͉͘͜H͕͓͙̻̳̲͚̬̗́͜ơ̴̥͙͟w̧̤͝ͅ ̱͟a̠͇͕͎ͅr̩̕e̻̱͢͡ ̨̨͏ͅy̙̞̪͓͕̥͡o̶̧̩ư̡̮͙̯ ̨̪͇̣͎̜̮͟a͕g̹̭̠̟̟̰̞͘͟ͅa̻̙͖̘͇̜ͅi͔͔͕̭̥n͈̪̰̮?̨͇̮͞ ̸̠̝̗͉̯̪͞͠W͈̬̮͡h̴̶̘͉̼͇͙ǫ̴͙͖̙̫̗̮͓̖̖ ́҉̩̻̺a̵̧͓̼͔͈̰r̸̙̺̞̳̯͖̣̼͘e͈͝ ̷̧̹͇̹̠̟̹̥̳͘y͙o̳͍͙͎̥̲u̮͖̱̥͠ ̪̺a̼̝͢g̴̝̠̖̪̮̬̠̕a̷̘̘͚̪i͏̵̢̟̳n̛҉̪͙̖͈̩͈.̵̮̣̩̬̕ͅ ̼̣̪̠͎̀W̜͕h҉̺̯͞a̻̺̝̬̭͡t̴͖͇͝ ̟͕̘̩̝͜ą̙͙͔̙͚͈͉̀r̢̲̼͘͢e̦̙͢ ̨̛̫͚̟̪̲͉͝y̨̖̰̰̩͜o͢҉̻͔̤͕u̘͎̝̳͈͕̰͚.̙͈̜͠ ̵̜̭̪ͅY͡͏̺̜͈̦̖̭̳̮̞͞o̵̧̬͈͍̺̬͙̤u̻͙̦̯̹̘̕ ̨̝̣s̜h̸͏̜͙̯̭̜̩̥̜o͉͓͢͜u̸̧͚̹̗̝͟l͕͕̦d̷̘͚̠͕̖̲̤ ̺̱͎̼̤̙a̢̱̖ș̳͖́͜ḱ̦̱̯̳ ͕͚̦̱̠̻́͞ţ̙̟͡ͅh̡͓̘̬̪̳̗͡ͅͅe̠̠̮̱̹͍̕͜͞s̪͇̞e̮̦̭̣̺̤̩͠ ͏̪̮͔q͉̟̲̗̫̺͎͕u̡͎͔͟͡ȩ͕̦̝̞͢͜ͅș̨̦̲̪̯̀͢ͅt͏̺̲͡i̖̠͘o̶̝̣͠͝n̢͕̟͚̗̝̹̰͘͞ś̭̺ ͢҉͓̞͎̲̞̲͉͘a̢͍ ̢̭̬̗̮͇̤͈͎͠ͅl̢̝̺͜į̷̼̱͓̯̩͞ͅt̷̠̘̼̫̟̣̯̰̝t̴̹̫ͅl̡̜̤͟e̡̲̯̤͎̞͉ ̙̘̬ḿ̤̦̦͡ͅo̶̥̤̦͓͙͚̮͙̤͜r̮͙̬͈͖̪̰͉e͇̱͖͇̩̺͙͙͘͡.̢̱̪̝́ ̹̳͓̫̪D͎͖̻͕́i̷̛͙̩̕d̵̜͙̫̼̗̺ ͖̠͎͜ý̘̳̹̖͉͍̬̕o̡̨̖̰̗͚̜̹͠ų̴̝͜ ̡͇̞̱͙̪͢l̫͍̗͉̹̜̹͘ò҉̗͇̰͎̫̦̠̼s̤͙è͖̞̪̭̬̠͠ ̷͔̟̣̭̠̦̺w̨̫̗͙̬e͏̯̦̬̝̠̕i̢̟̙̫͝ǵ͘͏̰͓̻̯͖h̥̣̝̀t̵͍͇̮͇̬̼̞̫̀͢ͅ?̠̼̩̙̙̪́ͅ ̸̧̘̜O̜̮̺̣̘r̼̙͝ ͔̥͕̞͉͢͞ͅg̢̦̤̣͇͙a͜͏̱̘͚̬̮̣i̟̖̲̰͖̤ǹ̞̺̦̭̻̼̥̝ ̸̥̫̯̘͍ͅi̺̙̲͙̝͘͢t̵̤̫̣̺̱́͞?̷̯̲̤ ̘̜͍̠̘͙͍̥̳͢I̯͕͙͓͎’̼̞̮̬̰̼́͘͡m̵͈͇͙͇̪̜͓ ̗͕̦̖̖́͘ͅǹ͙o̴̬̺̻̘̻̞͈̪t̴̢͖̖ ̵̷̺͇̬̖̼͔̱̬j̨̹̰͖͎̖͓̮͘ṵ̣̝͓̹̩d̨͚͍͕͓͠g҉̠͔̹̥̤͙̲̫í̶̩͎͕͕̝̣̥n̙̯̭̻͚̳͘͝ͅg̣ ̺̟̟̭̠̱͕̮͡è̶̳í̺̩̱̯͉͓͕͜t̟̦ͅh̠͇͚̫e̶̡̦͓͓̜̣̪͉̣͓͘r̶̟̭̜͘ ̮̫̫͇͔͍̰̝͘w̷̮̗̖͔á̤̺͜y̵̘͓̻̱̗͉̟̝̝.̨̨͇̮̫̟͈͍͖ ̵̗̼͖͞I̜͖͝͝͝t̡̥̼̘̺̗́ ͏͇͖̤̯̩̙i̢̳͙͝s̘̝͟ ̸̣͢ń̸҉̝̩̝̠̺a̵͇͜t̡̟̝̪͓̯u͍̱̲͍̮̳̜̱̥͢͜r̗̻̦̥͘͜a̴̸̮̹̘̖̺̰͇l͠҉̶̗̗̲ ͕͇̤̖͢t̤̥̲ǫ̗͎͙̹͇̱͞ ̛̠̞̙̺̘̬c̼͉͇̪̤h̶̼͓̹̕̕a̵̛̰̻n̵͎͕̫̻̝̲̘̞͟ͅg͏҉̠̫̦̳e͞҉͈͕̺͚̟̗̼ͅ.̧͈̗ ̶̨̹̳̪̥̱̗́I̸̶͔͖̖̪̤̜ ̙̟̪̟̥͉d̠͖̣̺͢͡a̮̪̗̞̗̫̠̤ͅt̰̖̙̫̼̭͚̙͝e̢̗̞̬͙̝̠̫d̺̯̱̟͈́ ̥̲ṯ̪͍̼̞̜͇̮ḩ̶̘͕̱i҉҉̮ś̡̲̖̗́ ̨̭̺͜g̴̗̺̰̺̪̞̰̱͘͝i͈̫̳͓͘͢r̭̺̪̖̜̯͟l̢̡̗̞̥̙ͅ ͎͉͈̗̤̳̀ơ̺̺͚͉̞̠͝͞n҉̣̗̘͜͞c̷̩̪̖̙͕e̶̘͉̕.̘̯͍͕͈̪͘ ̡̮̝̣̭̻̠̠N̸̛̯̫̟̫͍ò̴̴̻̯w̟͉ ̡̺̱̹͎̫̤̦h̡̘̬̲̳̝̰͉̞e̡̺̼͔’̧̰̲͚̣̪͉͈͞s̫̠͉͓͜ ̢̀͏͚͇ạ̴̥͓̣̤ ̺̟͚̬̙͙ͅb̵̸̟̹͈̖͡o̷͓͓̟͍̬̲̯͡y̙̹.͚̙̜͕̯̬̲͇͝ ҉̸̤̫̹͓̝̞T̵͓̬̺͉̭͓̕͜h̗̯̟̜̳̦̼̀ͅa̢̹͉̜̩͘ͅt̬̻̯͕͞ ̥̤̱͎̻͈͈͟i̧͙͍̪̲s͍̺͘͜ ̷̹s͏̡̙̟̙̺̤̠̼͎i̡̼͎̙̱͖̭ͅm̸̹̹̺̘͍̻p̭̜̠̭̮̱͞͞ļ̖̫͠ͅy̪͞ ̺̫͇͉̻̼̩h͇̣͚̹̜͈͜ǫ̵̭͈̠w͏̷̜ ͏͓̮̘̳̯̼͢t̷̮̠̀̕h͚͍i̛͙̼͡n͔͉͙͉͉̕͞g͓̪͘͡s̫͎͕̠͈͓͢ ̝̟́a̶̛̞͉͕̼͚̻̩̺̟͡r̸̰͉̯̭̹̞͖͙͠e͎̙͓̗.̴̳̺̤̞̝̤͉̥ ͇͍̭̲̠̹Ù̥͞ͅp̸̺̠͟͞ ̵̟͇̥̟̹̯̘a̘͙͟n̞̘͎̕͜͠d̸̛̪̘͝ ̫̲͇̳̙̝͢d̷͙̪̲̺o̜͚̱̖w̡̢̤̟͡n̼͔͡.͏̺̤͈̖̙͍͙ ̷̢̙̗͈̯͙̫̙̖D̷͇̝̜a̠̘̻̮y̪̣̜͔̭͞ ̺͉̘̦̙̬̲̝̳a̘̟̙̖̘͉̘̩n͕̘̝̩̲̼͝d̹̳̥̀ ̶̷̜̙̟̭͓̬̺̖͈ǹ̞̣̼̻̥͈̗̣i̶̳͔͈̫͘ͅg̴̛̫͍͚̻͍̬̞h̵̨̝͔̥̙̩͓͟ț͎̪̖̭̰̩̬͞.̶͓͈͔̜̹̻͚͕̕ͅ ̵̟͓͙̩͓N̛͖̦̼̭̙̣̪͔͝o̶̵̼̘̩̦̮͉͍w̵̲̫̪̪̳ ̤̬̫̺̪̺Į̰̬̝͉’͖͍͓͉͓ͅm̳̞͘ ͖̹̪͔͖̳̫w̶̜̥͇͞r̢̛̭i̢͉͍͘t̨͇̞͖͇̹͉͇̭̣i̧̟͈̕n̜͟͜͞g̮̹͇̼̬͙̟̼̯̀́ ҉͖̳̹̘̠̪̜͇t̸͖̮̮̖̟ḫ̴̳̮͢i̶͖̱͍̹͕͡s̶̞͇͍͠ ̢͎̳͚a̷̫̱̹̭n͓̫̜͜d̞̫͕̘̞̼̩͞͡ͅ ̧̟̺͉̣̪̙n҉̡̭̤̺͈è̵̯͍͔̻̹̪̱x̛̦̘͎͔̟͚t̴̡̜͙̮̲̻͟ ҉̻̝͙Í͉͍̭ ̸̩̲̰̺̺w͙̼̫͢i̯̥̦̻̯͡ͅḷ̨̣̳͙̪ḻ̤ ͉̰̦̪͔̣͔̤̀͞n̻̤̝͔͖ơ̴̪̟̬͙̱̣t̼̞́ ̠͉̳b̠̱̠̣̳̫̦̮́e̷̺̜̩͎̣ͅ!̧̳͍̖̘̘̫́ ̝̜̙̗͔T̥̹̀̀͟h̖͇͕͔̣͢ą͉̞͙̣͎̰͔̝͚͢t̛͙͞ ̸̀͏̥̜i̵̢͍̞̩̪̬̯̜̫̥s̶̲̤̻̟̝͓ͅ ̨̟̟́a̖̘̫͈ ̷̩̱̗͓̘̯͙̩͜͝c͏̶̢͍̰̘͉̘̟h̝̱á̲̼͔̩̜͙n̶̸̶̪̝̫͍̦̳g̵҉̣̜̦͇ȩ̴̦͇̫͔̭̲͙͎̰͡,̼̦͍̫̲̬̟̩̹ ̨̫̦͚͠á̮ĺ̴̘̞̳̬̲̱̗̬͢s̡̡͏̹̮̬o̮̯̘̱̦̼.̛͖͓̭̝̟͟͟ ͔͉́́͟A̛̙̞h̭͎̼͡ ̡̼̣̠̘̤͉ẁ̵̦̻̘͓̰ͅḛ͎̟͙̤̞l̶̴̠̝̯̮̟͟l̷͍̲̻͞ͅ.̻̰͔̻̗̲̗͝ͅ ̱̫̪͔̥̠̫N̩̠̪͔͔̭͙͢͠ó͏͍̭̠̹̝̹͉͓͔w̺̳̟̭͓͜͡ͅ ̵̴̺̭̠̘͠I͏̹͇̜́ ͏͏͚̘͉̱̱h̸̸͎͇͎̙̘͉͝a͖̞̤͘͢v̲́e̵͍̼̹͎̟̭̠̥͎ ̛͓͉t̘̳͈̬͈̘͚̦̞o̳͔͡͡ ͎͍͞g̨̠͚̜̹̝͢ǫ̭͔͙̩̥͎͡.̹̱̥̗̞̕ͅ ̸̴͈͉̘̼̭̗D͍̗͈̟ǫ̪͇̰͕͍ ̖̼̰̹͖͓͓t̶̰̮̀a͝͏̠͉͇̤ķ͇͓͇̝e̖̗͍̫̬͇̱̥̕̕ ̶̡͉̳͍͖͓̭c̥̬̹̱͎̮͍̘͡͡a̴̢̨͕r̝͓̗̬è͏̭̦
Art of London
Letters from the Surface: Part XII
The Chase
By Sir Wensleydale of Hardwick
I chased the criminal. His movements were quick, but not quick enough. As I entered my townhouse, I caught up with him, and shanked him.
Some of the urchins, later, came up to me and asked why the parlor smelt like blood. I gave no answer.
I read one of my letters. I would have, anyway, but a Special Constable opened the door. I was accused of permanent manslaughter.
This is bad.
Shadowy is increasing…
Dangerous is increasing…
An occurrence! Your “Suspicion” quality is now 10- Imprisoned!
At War With a Single Person has increased to 3!
An occurrence! Your “Letters from the Surface” quality is now 12!
You have moved to a new area: New Newgate Prison-Again!
News of Art, Art of News
Rubbery Symphony Bewilders Her Majesty’s Court; Critics Stunned, Silent
The most recent work of the Court’s artist-in-residence incorporated a rather bold factor, that is, it was inspired and played by a troupe of Rubbery Men. The gentlepeople of the court were stunned, to the point of no reviews having come out to this day as the critics, presumably, lay in their beds, contemplating the art they had witnessed.
From our end, we are not afraid! It was a wonderful performance by the Rubbery troupe. While their ability wit the instruments was limited, their passion and pure joy of the act were what brought this piece to the status of truly high art. The tune itself was jaunty, but solemn, energetic, but yearnful. We cannot wait for more such pieces to appear, and wish the best to the musicians.
Ask Mother Goose
Dear Mother Goose,
Should I let her know?
Uncertain
Dear Uncertain,
Things are never as simple as they seem, I know. Do not hide from your feelings.
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