29th of September 1897


Editorial

There are a handful I have faith in. Faith, as opposed to trust. Faith, specified more often than generalized. One such individual is Kid Nullman, the Saint of Tears and the Kollector.

Mr. Tears, for those of you that do not know, is the Noman to arrive and be alive for a year. Nullman is the foremost prophet of Tears, and leader of his kind religion.

I truly have faith, London, faith in Tears and faith in Nullman. A good acquaintance of mine, they have been a presence of wonder and determination, gathering resources for the coming of Tears. There are those who deny the wonders of Tears, yet I firmly believe that there shall be success.

There is something calming about putting your faith into someone. To not be on the lookout for failure, but rather for success, to believe deep in your heart that the efforts shall bear fruit.

Once again, dear London, do be so kind as to support Nullman and Tears with a fistful of coins of the First City.

Shall we all be blessed by his cold wonders.


Art of London

Reinol von Lorica
by Ted Brown

Happy Birthday, Professor!

A portrait by Professor von Lorica’s protege, to celebrate his 30th birthday.


News of Art, Art of News

Second All-Bird Play To Debut Soon

After the vastly successful run of Ravemeo and Doviette, the crew behind this all-bird production is to debut a whole new play. This time it is an original of a Prussian playwright, Wheelwright Brides. It is a heartbreaking comedy, sure to leave you in tears one way or another.

While the play itself is, of course, well known, the all-bird production is what interests us greatly. We at the Gazette have some backstage information, which, of course, we are obliged by etiquette not to disclose in such public manner.

The information we can share, of course, is that it is all and more we could hope for, dear London. The birds chosen are all exquisite actors, very fit for their roles. The direction, also handled by a bird, could not be more perfect.

We, then, hereby invite you to the debut of this production at Mahogany Hall. Join us, next week Saturday.

Moreover, the first ten readers to find buried leads within this week’s edition will win free tickets to the front seats of the production!

Happy hunting and we hope to see you at the debut, dear London.


Ask Mother Goose

Dear Mother Goose,
Where is the goal I so elegantly sought?
Worried


Dear Worried,
There was little elegance to begin with. Please try again.

22nd of September 1897


Editorial

There are many ways one can hurt. Scars are not the only impact. A gash across the flesh, skin, burnt, perhaps boiled. Scars of the mind will suffice for some. A word can cut just as well as any knife.

Such is an issue with self-appointed martyrs. They dive into the pain with open arms. The hurt is like an old friend. A warm embrace. A calmness. To hurt means for things to be as they always have been. It means for things to be right. The status quo, once again, restored.

Perhaps it is cowardice to sink back into the mud. A refusal to admit that there is responsibility on one’s shoulders. That, if they themselves are not dark, it is on them not to act as such. Or, perhaps, it is fear. Of change, of light, of good. Of one’s own soul.

I do not mean to meander on the point, but it is a gnawing hatred. A warm blanket made of teeth.

Truly, the worst critic is yourself.


Art of London

Assorted Artwork
by Nihil


News of Art, Art of News

Famous Artist’s Last Performance? A Challenge Of Life And Death

In the latest news of the art world, the Renowned Performer faced accusations from one V. S____, a critic of some acceptance. S____, in his latest review of the Performer’s work, called it, to quote:

“Uninspired, a blasphemy of sight and sound, outrageous and outrageously dull to boot. A man so lacking in soul and virtue is fit more for the circus than the gentle arts.”

While we could write litanies on each word of such a claim, the Performer himself has responded with a less than expected act – he has challenged S____ to a duel of the Black Ribbon. We need not remind, if only for dramatic effect, that it is a duel to true death, as is common both in the high echelons and in the artistic circles.

S____ has, graciously, accepted, throwing a velvet glove into a well of blue hue.

The duel is to be in a fortnight, and we shall waste no time in bringing you the news of such occasion.


Ask Mother Goose

Dear Mother Goose,
I am so very, very tired.
T. J. W.


Dear T. J. W.,
There is a strong sense of deja vu.

15th of September 1897


Editorial

Perhaps I am prepared to face my demons. There are only a few, after all, however haunting and powerful they may be. Or perhaps it is I that is the weak one.

I have concocted a plan. I’m still content with my purpose, of course. Such things are not to be forgotten, thrown away like a paper ball. Yes, my purpose still stands. However, it does not have to stand in the same way. It can be nudged, adjusted, rebuilt, even. The purpose does not have to manifest the same all the time.

There is Violant, there is Irrigo, there is the Correspondence. Powerful tools, if one knows how to use them well. I cannot act in haste, of course. Such things take time. Bit by bit.

Rebeka has been whiling away her days. The scars on her body make me shiver. She seldom smiles in a pleasant way nowadays. The well, the well, the well, it calls to her. The contract is clear, still burned into my mind.

I shall have to accompany her, yes. Afterwards, however, there can be freedom.


Art of London

Journal of a Dead Man
by Samuel James

‘It couldn’t have been an animal, this happened in the middle of a city’

‘Then what else could have done that? It couldn’t have been a human’

‘I don’t know, but it couldn’t have been an animal either’

‘Don’t be ridiculous, it was some madman who did this’

‘Then why do the corpses look like they were torn up by mountain lions?’

‘I don’t know, he probably used metal claws or something’

‘Metal claws, yeah sure’

The onlookers talked among themselves as police removed whatever was left of the bodies of old Jules and the young factory worker Henry, it took them some time to identify the remains due to the state they were in. There wasn’t a whole lot left of either of them in the first place.

At least their respective families will save up on funeral costs somewhat since they’ll be able to just bury them in soup cans.

But that didn’t make it any easier for their relatives.

Jules’ death hit his granddaughter Lacey the hardest. She loved the old man, she was fascinated by the stories he told her when she was a child, much to her father’s dismay who hated how his father filled his daughter’s head with wild fantasies of monsters and all manners of creepy and terrifying creatures stalking the darkness.

And that’s exactly what got Lacey thinking on what it could have been that tore Jules to pieces like that.

It wasn’t a human or animal.

But rather one of the creatures Jules has been talking about his whole life.

‘Don’t tell me you believe in this nonsense as well’ Lacey’s childhood friend Liz said to her.

‘It’s not nonsense, when you think about it for a second or two, it makes perfect sense’ Lacey said as she thumbed through Jules’ journal, looking for any mentions of demons or anything else that might be up and about at night.
Liz rolled her eyes at her friend, ‘that’s how they always start, grandmother says Jules started out the same way, at first he said the monsters made perfect sense and then he descended into mad rambling and raving about demons, ghosts, vampires and all kinds of other creatures’

Lacey ignored her friend’s words as she kept looking through Jules’ diary, finding mentions here and there about something stalking the streets of Warumsgrad at night, but he didn’t go into detail about what it could have been.

With a sigh Lacey closed the journal and placed it on the small table next to the recliner, ‘I wonder where he got all of this information from’ she muttered to herself moments later and looked at Liz, who only gave a shrug in return.

‘I don’t know, other old crazy people? Maybe he found some occult book? Uh he heard those stories in a bar full of superstitious people?’ Liz rattled off some options on where Jules could have heard about the creatures, all of them met with a slow shake of Lacey’s head.

‘We’ll just have to do some digging on our own’ Lacey said and got up from the recliner, smoothing out her skirt and looking back at Liz, ‘and I think I know where we should start’

Liz let out a sigh and got up as well, ‘the crazy drunk who’s been yelling at bushes in the park?’

‘No’ Lacey said and shot her friend a dirty look, ‘I mean Jules’ room, he’s been hiding something there from me and my father, so I figured that would be the best place to start’


News of Art, Art of News

A Week Of Uneventfulness Impair This Report Does Not

It is with regret that we have to say – there are no news this week.

No news of art, certainly, perhaps none at all. All is quiet in the Neath, or, as quiet as can be. Rats bicker, bats flutter and chirp, cats sit their silent vigil of secret keepers. Even Jack has not shown his smile. Dames and lads walk, arm in arm, at a casual speed, as this is the week to do so. A gentle calm spreads around the streets of London.

On these blessed days, there is nothing exciting, not even a bit to report on – perhaps, of course, apart from the nothing itself.

Despair not, though, dear London! Despite such sloth all around, this reporter has hope, the hope of another week! Yes, as the Earth moves through the vastness of cosmos, a new day shall arrive, a new week. The calm will lift, yes it may seem sad but it is fortune that brings us the end of it. There are only so many days of rest one can use, London. Soon we will be thrust into another bout of happenings, hunted by boredom only to escape its grasp so expertly that you will look back on this week and think, have I ever truly enjoyed the calm?

Enjoy it you may, can, and should, dear London. This reporter will humbly see you next week.


Ask Mother Goose

Dear Mother Goose,
Am I who I thought I was?
Concerned


Dear Concerned,
Are such judgements truly up to us?

8th of September 1897


Editorial

Descent
by R. J. Frogvarian

“But what if you disappear?”
“I will return, in an uncertain amount of time.”

I made nothing of it at the time. It seemed almost routine. You roped your waist and descended into the dark abyss. Slow, steady, sure. I should have spotted the fear in your eyes.

I stood guard every day near that wretched hole. Not a bit of light dared penetrate the darkness. The rope was still stretched and tightly wound, twitching ever so slightly with any bigger movement. I waited and the days went by. Other guards gave nods of your progress, ever so sparse. Then.

The rope went limp.

It all seemed so routine and now I was scared. I would like to say I tried to pull the rope out but I have not. I would like to say I tried to help but I did not. Only a thousand yard stare and my mouth agape.

Others have returned from the darkness. They solemnly shook their heads and said little. I know you’re not dead. They say you are not dead. I hoped you were dead. The dead do not haunt me as much as you do.

I have ventured into the darkness before, of course. We all have. There are depths into which none dare cross. Only the foolish ones have no rope and no guard. Only the truly desperate ones cut their ropes.

I still wait at the edge if the darkness. Lantern lit. The rope, limp. I await even the smallest tug, a sign of return.

I am so very, very scared.


Art of London

The Zong of the Isle
by UltimotoHershel IngramElias Pembleton III, and The Avid Perfectionist

Oh gather round me bully boys!
For a tale of Mutton Isle
Of RNG and devil-girls
And a mask that’s really vile!

The horse that rides a bicycle
A well that’s not (so) swell
The wheels they clack mechanical
And the wounds the zailors quell

The mayors come to celebrate!
But Virginia’s only dour
Her hat is threatened by the ‘Lloyd
And she’s done within the hour

A telling of the mayors past!
The mayor in a chair
Feducci never ever showed
And Jenny was quite fair

A vision from the men of Zee!
The Mountain, the lights, the Flukes!
Sample the feast you scallywags!
Accept your newfound dukes

Hop on, and catch a fish me lad!
The fish are sure to bite
And if they hang us out to dry
Set us up some dynamite!

We wait for the lady in the hood
The RNG is hell
The drowned man slowly, slowly stirs
We’ll join them in the well.


News of Art, Art of News

The Devils’ Circus Takes The Train Stage

It seems that with the election of Lord Mayor Virginia, there are other devils keen on showing their colours. Whether they agree with Lord Mayor’s candidacy or not, the Devils’ Circus has just arrived by the way of Moloch Street train. Their tents are now propped up around the station, a collection of twenty four small yurts spread around nearly chaotically.

There are many wonders to be found within the circus, including a mirror hall, flame jugglers, rubbery sideshow, misfortune teller, a remote refreshments and honey den, and so on. The circus has appeared overnight and quite unexpectedly. While we are quite excited to explore this newly presented novelty, we only have a rudimentary knowledge as one of our journalists is still trapped within the fabrics.

Mariam Plenty, the purveyor of Mrs Plenty’s Carnival, was unfortunately not reachable for a comment on this new occurence. Neither were any other London officials, and we are, frankly, a little freaked out by that.

Still, there is no reason for us to not recommend it – go on and explore the Devils’ Circus, London!


Ask Mother Goose

Dear Mother Goose,
Is there no solace for the gloomy and the weary?
Diined


Dear Diined,
None know what the future holds, truly.

1st of September 1897


Editorial

Revel
by R. J. Frogvarian

“The revel, the revel!” the crier cried. All around wine and spirits flowed. “Join the jolly jesters!”

High echelons and low gutters do not mix so well. The upright worker looks down upon the displeased lady. Who’s in the wrong? It is any one’s judgement to say? The intricacies of a bond are not up to an onlooker to decide or decipher. Fueled by the intoxicating brew the pair sit arm in arm, an arm’s length apart. What blessed togetherness.

The two leave together. The bark seems worse than the bite. Through the darkened streets there is only silence. Neither is eager to admit a wrongdoing. As the silence grows unbearable, their humble abode makes its appearance. Glances are exchanged and words forgotten. Actions speak louder, after all.

Such sweet actions they are, under the sheets and around the limbs. The two are now one, as poets oft like to remind us. They diverge with bliss. Two again, in each others’ arms. Silent words are exchanged only now, at last ready to break free what was unwanted back then.

Though this might be only in the onlooker’s mind.
There is hope for happiness.
One would rather disappear than have to face the reality of living.


Art of London

In The Shadows
by Samuel James

Jules was right about the dark, that people should be scared of it, that all manners of evil lurk around in the shadows once the sun goes down. He tells them to get inside their homes, lock their doors and windows and close the curtains until the sun comes back up, because there’s things out there in the dark that want to harm others.

But no one listens to him.

Nobody takes him seriously.

They all just write him off as an insane old man who’s gone crazy of old age, they say ‘yes old Jules, we’ll do as you say’ but then ignore his advice. They think he’s just a crazy old man. Just another crazy old man who has gone crazy of old age and solitude.

But he was right.

He was always right.

He’s seen things in the shadows at night. Things with red eyes, red eyes no normal human can possibly have. He’s seen things with teeth sharper than any teeth he’s ever seen in all his years he’s spent on this planet. He’s seen things most other people brush off and try their best to ignore.

But he knows he’s seen them.

He’s looking at one of them right now.

Old Jules is looking at a man, a young man with bloodied hands and nails too long and sharp to be those of a human. Nails that are claws. Claws that just tore another man to bloody ribbons of flesh and fabric. The young man is staring at Jules with eyes as black as coal. Eyes that stared right at Jules and are making the old man back away from the scene he just walked into.

But the young man won’t let him go.

No.

Not after what Jules has seen.

The young man takes a step towards Jules, snarling like a vicious dog and baring his too sharp teeth at poor Jules. All Jules can do is back away, back away from the demon slowly closing in on him, bloodied claws twitching. Itching to dig themselves into more flesh tonight, to tear another soul from its body.

Jules knows he won’t make it out alive. He knows they’ll find his torn-up corpse in the morning, that there won’t be much of him left to bury, that they might not even recognize him once he’s been reduced to strips of meat and fabric.

Jules says one final prayer.

One final prayer as the demon closes in on him, raising a clawed hand high above his head and bringing it down in one swift blur of dark red. Jules doesn’t even let out a scream when the talons tear through him. All that can be heard is his body hitting the paved ground and animalistic snarls as the fiend descends upon poor old Jules.

The first one to discover the remains of Jules and the unknown man is a young woman who will never forget the bloody scene. A woman who now firmly believes that there’s something out there in the dark, because she has seen what happens to people who go out in the dark.

Nobody will believe poor young Hazel.

Nobody will believe her about the things that lurk in the dark.

Nobody believes in things skulking around in the dark.

That’s why they go unchecked.

That’s why nobody ever catches them.

That’s why they’re free to take as many lives as they please.

Because no one believes in them.


News of Art, Art of News

The Drownie Troupe – London’s First All-Drownie Theater Group Makes Its Debut

In the marshes of our fair city, secrets swim and gurgle. The Drownies lie in wait just below the surface, just behind the zailor’s fears. A new Drownie troupe named The Marsh-Mired, however, lies in wait for you to buy tickets to their debut performance!

The troupe has made its venue on the Thames, with the stage just below the surface, water up to their knees. The audience seats are both on and off-shore, accompanied with chains to secure yourself once the actors start singing; a truly admirable dedication to art and safety.

We had the pleasure to see one of their performances, a play full of sorrow and love and death. Not one eye was left dry. The actors were truly wonderful, full of emotion, their songs mesmerizing (and the chains truly secure!). Despite the water they waded in – or, perhaps, thanks to it – they moved effortlessly, as if floating. Combined with the early morning mist, the spectacle was rather ominously charming.

We encourage you, dear London, to give The Marsh-Mired a chance. Tickets on sale now!


Ask Mother Goose

Dear Mother Goose,
Oh how damnably myself I am.
Lazy


Dear Lazy,
It is hard to forget one’s roots.

25th of August 1897


Editorial

One important thing to note is that our actions have consequences. It seems logical in hindsight, always, yet it is important to keep in mind. That is not to discourage from any singular action. Perhaps it is only a reminder to be prepared for what is to come.

Consequences may be positive as well as negative. Such a distinction is, of course, subjective from each point of view. To be considered by each individual. Neutrality, however, is not a matter of consequence. It is the default state, a change of nothing. Not worthy to be spoken about at length.

Neither should we give attention to positive consequences. It is not that they do not matter, rather that none would dispute them. Subjectivity aside, of course, the assumption being of net good.

That leaves us with the consequences negative. One should always be aware of these. Prepared for the sword to strike, so to speak. They can have many impacts; the worst of which is, arguably, the emotional one. We rarely allow ourselves to think that something will come out of our behaviour. We coddle ourselves into a false sense of security. It is important to stay sharp!

What, then, is one to do when the pain comes knocking? Only hold your head high and prepare further. A life on the lamb is better than a life of regret.

Everything is wonderful, dear London.


Art of London

A Dawn of Something New
by Reinol von Lorica

“I know it may come off as a shock to you.” The Dark Spectacled Admiral demurs. “But I’m afraid that it is the single, unquestionable truth. Your room at the Blind Helmsman has already been prepared. I bid you a good evening.”

A firm hand grasped on his shoulder as the Brusque Secretary promptly steered her away from the desk.

She quickly found herself shoved into the main workplace of the Admiralty Survey Office. Men and women in the blues of the Navy ambled about, someone seated at desks filing reports while others walked in and out, bearing recent news of ships. Occasionally, a zee-captain would stumble in, and make their way to give out reports of ports across the Underzee…

“Try not to think too much of what happened, Miss Delamere.” The Dark Spectacled Admiral says his voice still audible from halfway across the room. “Some things are just strange down here. Especially that far out North.”
With those finishing words, she found herself thrust out in the foggy streets of Fallen London.


The Blind Helmsman was an inn.

Run by a blind helmsman.

“Carried away by spiders.” He said with a chuckle when she first asked him about the matter. She wisely chose to abandon the subject shortly thereafter.

Her room was frugal, and smelled of stale beer and honey, and it was to no surprise that she spent most of her time away from that place. Besides, the Blind Helmsman was hardly a good place for company, unless you were a zailor.

Nowadays, she spent most of her time wandering the streets of Fallen London, though she limited herself to Wolfstack Docks.

Not that she minded of course. Wolfstack was a fascinating place, a thousand ships a day, or so they say, make their way in and out of the port, to old far off places she only knew by name.

If she was lucky, then she sometimes found herself listening to the boasted tales of zailors returning from months spent out at Zee.

Though today, she had a different purpose.

The Admiral was kind enough to provide her with a respectable amount of ‘Echoes’, that was, Fallen London’s currency, that should be able to last three weeks at the very least.

That meant she had three weeks to find a job before she got kicked out of the Blind Helmsman, and though she never really liked the place, it still served as the closest thing she had as a home down here.

She sighed, taking her place on a nearby bench. How did she get here? Briefly, she recalls what the Admiral had told her regarding her past.

Or perhaps, her lack of one.

Simply put, there was nothing at all. Not even a sliver of her name or appearance had ever been seen in London. Not that mattered, considering where she was found…

The creaking of the bench as a weight came upon it interrupted her thoughts.

A gentleman dressed in black had chosen to sit next to her. She noted his appearance; a smooth pale face, auburn hair, green and orange eyes, spectacles, a dark three piece suit, and a fedora with several small mirrors attached to it. He seemed to be a respectable, if rather grim sort of person.

“The Admiral told me I’d find you here.”

She couldn’t help but flinch at the tone of his voice. It wasn’t cold, but it certainly was emotionless. He gazes at her impassively as ge turns to face her completely. She squirmed under his stare, for she could feel nothing from him.

“I am the captain of the ship that rescued you.” He says in the same, monotonous voice. “We were on an expedition on Irem of the Pillared Sea when a Riddlefisher led me to you. You were asleep, on a bed of roses. Almost angelic I might add.”

She looked at him in slight confusion and wonder. This was the man who found her? The words he said were already known. The admiral had briefed her about this. Still, it was always odd to hear them, especially considering she had no idea what half of them meant.

The captain tilts his head curiously towards her. “Now you look just like your everyday Londoner…not very angelic if you ask me.”

He leans back on his seat before stretching out a gloved hand. “Professor Reinol von Lorica.”

For a while, she simply stared at the gloved appendage. She wonders who this person really was, and why he even bothered coming to her. To meet her? Though she knew she shouldn’t be too surprised. If what he said was true, then he would be most curious about a girl who was asleep on a bed of roses.

Almost hesitantly, she grabbed his hand with her own. She didn’t exactly trust him, but he was the closest person she could, save for maybe the Dark Spectacled Admiral.

“Evensong Delamere.”

Reinol lets go of her hand and stands up, before gesturing her to follow him with an emerald topped silver came. “You live in the Blind Helmsman, yes? I won’t be having that.”

She blinks, unsure how to react. Unrepelled, Reinol speaks on. “Come with me Miss Delamere. London is a strange and dangerous place.” She could’ve sworn there was a glint in his eye as he spoke his next few words.

“You’ll never survive without my help. So do yourself a favour and say yes. I hate repeating myself.”

Evensong Delamere didn’t know why she suddenly trusted this man. If anything, she should stand, and scream for help. But instead, she finds herself looking back at him. There was something compelling her to accept. Something that she couldn’t explain at all. Was this fate?

Then, without a word, Reinol turns and leaves.

And Evensong followed.


News of Art, Art of News

Wonders Of False Summer – The Fruits of the Zee Festival

The time has come once again, dear London; the Fruits of the Zee festival is here! Ferries to and fro Mutton Island leave every half an hour from Wolfstack Docks. Imbibe the scenery, take a boat for a relaxing rowing trip, enjoy mingling with the locals, perhaps try fishing!

Not a perfect holiday resort, certainly, Mutton Island is still fabled all around London, for worse or for better. The famous Rubbery Lumps originate here, a wonder of Neath’s cuisine. Drownies, who inhabit many nooks and crannies of the island, deliver the mystery meat for these lumps to the locals for preparation.

Lord Mayor Virginia is, of course, present and enjoying the festival herself. Word has it that Mariam Plenty, a Mutton Island local, was forbidden from attending. She has many contacts and supporters on the Island, and while she has not been yet spotted, the truth of this claim is still up in the air.

The empty chair, it seems, is not present this year.

Nonetheless, we encourage you, dear London, to go out and catch yourself a juicy one!


Ask Mother Goose

Dear Mother Goose,
I only wish there was noone left to mourn for me.
Tired


Dear Tired,
This too shall pass.

18th of August 1897


Editorial

I have thought far too long about many of my predicaments. There is danger in getting locked in one’s own mind for such lengths of time. I have never been one to go into a battle unprepared, no, though I am afraid I have been preparing alone for a job for several. I am afraid I have let emotions take too strong a hold of me.

I fear I have little positive to say today, dear London. I have been fighting with myself for too long. Tugging and pushing and pulling in all the wrong directions. Overthought my place into paranoia; all that’s left is a straight jacket to match my inane grin.

So many things come down to the relations we create. Any good spy will tell you that the most valuable asset one can have is a contact. A friend, perhaps. Never make friends with spies. People are so unfortunately complex. Like clockwork that reconnects its gears whenever it feels like it.

Some battles are to be fought with compliance.

My only hope is that there is still warmth to be salvaged.


Art of London

Excerpts from Parabola
by Kimberlea Heili

More works to be seen.

News of Art, Art of News

Myth Or A Gruesome Reminder – The Tale Of The Drowning Dutchman

Today we commemorate a special legend in the hearts of zailors. Today, the ̷̵̶͠8̡͢͢͝҉8̶̴̸͘th anniversary of a zhip known as The Drowning Dutchman being lost at zee. Captained by one F_________, the Dutchman was a vessel of great renown. With a skilled and loyal crew, a smart and brave captain, surely the fastest in all of Neath, it was a true naval jewel. It had discovered many a treasure and secret, mapped much of the Neath, and brought glory to London.

It is sad to say that its tale does not end well. During what was to become its last and most infamous voyage, the Dutchman was caught in a Storm, much greater than it had survived ever before. This was, indeed, the last we have heard of it – none of the crew had made it out alive to tell the tale.
Still, legends persist. Reports and rumours of a ghostly zhip have spread through the ranks of zailors. Crew with hollow eyes, a captain with no soul. A vessel followed by mist and storm. All shall fear this vessel, they say, as all should, and never to follow, but turn ‘round and flee at first sight.

Such are the tales of the Dutchman, if one is to believe the tales, of course. Though much bizarre is to be found within the Neath, a healthy dose of skepticism never hurts.
However, be the tales truth or tosh, they serve as a reminder to all zailors, a reminder that it is not wise to challenge the Neath’s treacherous waters, and especially its Storms. It is a reminder for all that nature is not to be meddled with.

It is a reminder to us, dear London, that a good story persists.


Ask Mother Goose

Dear Mother Goose,
Why, why, why, when, why, how?
Madma


Dear Madma,
I am afraid we are alone in such ponders.

11th of August 1897


Editorial

There are times we can feel betrayed by the rational actions of a loved one. We all act in a manner of self-preservation, after all. It is hard to despise decisions which are made in best intentions to the self. We can, however, be hurt. There may even be a good reason for such a thing. We can be confused, and we may not have the answers soon, if ever.

There is care one must put into one’s life. Steps we must take, obstacles we must cross. There is care we should put into the lives of others. That care, sometimes, requires us to hurt. True love means sacrifice, after all.

One should not ponder far too hard of the intricacies of another’s soul, however. Put trust into their betrayal. In many cases there is only ache to be found.

People are not a puzzle to be solved, but a forest to be left to its own devices.


Art of London

The Deal Made On A Comet
By Sir Wensleydale of Hardwick
Submitted close to 27th of July

The complex was alive with chit-chatter. The clocks began to ring. Odin… Dva… Tri… Chetyre… Pyať… Shesť… Sem’.

The doors opened. The President walked out of them. He overlooked the river that continued past the Kremlin. The ripples succeeded each other.

Dvenadtsať. An old woman gingerly entered the hall. She spoke, with a voice clearer than should be, and an accent that no-one else possessed.

“Whom did you love?”

“My daughter. Olga.”

“I loved my fianceé. He’d got bit by a snake, and this wonderful man- his name was Syd Alshumue. He offered to save my bethroted’s life. Actually, it offered anything, just for the city. I accepted his bargain. Much, much later, (though it felt like a couple of years to me), this merchant was murdered in such a despicable manner.”

“Similar situation with my daughter. She was my firstborn. When the revolutionaries began to riot, they threatened to shoot her if I did not back down. A man by the name of Gospodin Stranitsy offered to protect her, at the price of the city. …he gave his word, but unsuccessfully. She was killed eight years after the bargain.”

“And how did you feel?”

“Frightened. Confused. Doomed. But mostly, I felt a primaeval rage. When my fifth-born, Alexei, was acting up again, I killed him. Not out of a personal rage for him, but out of an anger and a hunger to avenge her.”

“That’s the thing about these merchants. In their intrigues, in their deepest matters… look to love. Always.”

Odin Kormovy, the clock struck. The woman left, leaving the czar alone. The river rippled. Perhaps, when Halley’s Comet came again, the pain would be over. Perhaps he would live to see the day it did. The woman, he saw, was tired. Tired of the pain, of the Neath. But lastly, tired of life, and it’s miseries.

“Always.”

Then he remembered. There had been inhabitants of the Neath a’fore he. Paris had become Moscow. The adobe labourers. London as well. Karakorum. Hopelchen. Amarna. Another city. But most of all, these Maîtres du bazar. They had been there. They had seen the suffering, the grief, and the torture. And what had they done?

“…look to love.”

And with that, his business continued.


News of Art, Art of News

Summer’s Heatwave Comes – Londoners Not Safe From Collapsing Even In The Neath!

It is a great shock to us to see the seemingly impossible come true – the yearly summer heatwave of England had reached even the Neath! In a span of just a few days, the temperatures have gone from mild, to only bearable, to rather uncomfortable. There were even several corset-clad gentlepersons who could not withstand this sudden shift, and have collapsed on the very streets of London (or, in some cases, coffee shops, art shops, and so forth)!

The origin of this heat is, so far, unknown. Leading theories propose Mr Fires’s meddling with the furnaces, or perhaps the Devils truly bringing Hell forth. Either way, we advise you hide in a gentle breeze or sip a refreshing glass of cold milk as we await for the heatwave to pass.

Stay cool, London!


Ask Mother Goose

Dear Mother Goose,
Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun! How to have such, all the time?
Rupert


Dear Rupert,
Why, that is a solidly good question. Perhaps, engagement.

4th of August 1897


Editorial

Little indulgences can be forgiven, even if one’s stomach ends in aches. Pampering oneself is not a crime, after all. Each spark is to be stoked into brightness, even if it takes one’s own initiative. Wonders are what fuels them, transforms them into flames.

Wonders, the stuff of dreams. Dreams coming true – well, that is the specialty of artists. To bring the works of the mind to the canvas of the world. Anyone can be an artist, as I like to say. Everyone should.

In some ways, I would call it a crime to not indulge. To deny that which makes us us. A single decision can stand between regret and content.
In a similar way, I would call it a crime not to help the indulgence of others. To douse the flames instead of stoking them. To put a lock on want and gulp the key. It can be monstrous, to be denied.

It is my hope there can one day be fires within all of us.


Art of London

House of Troubles, Part V
by Tuesday Next

Eli was surprised to discover that the high from spending time with a friend that didn’t see him as the Madgod hadn’t worn off by the time he got back to The House of Troubles’ RV, which was parked in a tiny lot near the club. The lot was silent, only the RV and a few other cars standing up from the dark ground. If Eli had to guess, at least two-thirds of his bandmates would be in there, depending on whether Barron had met someone interesting. Either way, he didn’t hear anything as he approached it, so whoever was there was most likely sleeping, which suited him just fine. He had a phone call to make.

Eli leaned up against the side of the RV, staring at his phone. His sister’s contact entry stared back at him, a stupid selfie they’d taken together not long after The House of Troubles’ first show. She had painted a small butterfly on her cheek, a miniature of the face-covering one that had become his trademark. Once someone had asked him why he chose a butterfly motif and whether it fit the ‘Madgod’ image. He’d answered that being the Madgod was all about chaos, and what could be more chaotic than a creature that completely transforms itself? It wasn’t the best answer, but it had been less embarrassing than the truth—his mother had loved butterflies. She had taken her children to a butterfly garden once, and Eli would always remember seeing a massive cloud of the insects, their wings fluttering as they flew around. His butterfly had transformed into a memory of her death after he’d seen it on her killer’s shirt, but maybe now it would transform once again.

Eli took a deep breath, then hit the call button. As the phone began to ring, he realized too late that it was either too late or too early in the morning for her to be awake, but hopefully he could at least leave a voicemail. He leaned harder against the side of the RV, his legs jellylike and held up only by adrenaline until finally, he heard a voice on the other end of the line.

“Hey, Marina, it’s me. Shit, did I wake you up? Sorry. Anyway, I ran into Martin after my show tonight…”


News of Art, Art of News

Et in Arbor Ego – A Walk Through The City of Roses

Arbor, the city of marvels, the city of roses, built on and by and within dreams.

Last year, the Envoy from Arbor had visited our fair London. They appointed an Ambassador to this city of Rosers, and allowed a few to pass through its magnificent streets. Recently, one of our very own Gazette’s reporters had such same privilege; a visit to the city of Arbor.

The currency of Arbor, as it had been revealed, is Attar. Rose powder made of dreams, congealed at one’s eyes at the sight of the city’s marvels. Only those who truly see the wonders of Arbor can gain Attar, and with it, they may proceed to even more astonishing sights.

Foreword, a concern. We at the Gazette would like to express bewilderment, if not outright worry and outrage. It is a law in Arbor that the artists must be kept in cages. Cages! It is a disgrace, surely, a prohibition of art. Arbor is a city of labour, though no wonders as such could be built without the artistic spirit. Indeed, we propose that even the most common of craftsmen can be an artist! Fashion, architecture, even common carpentry are all to be used for art. It is our hope that this will not stand between us and Arbor in further relations. Nonetheless, without further ado.

First, Near Arbor. A place for craft – labourers, merchants. At the gatehouse there is a market. Each stall is filled with amusements and joyous knick-knacks. Our own editor left with a deck of tarot, each card a masterpiece on its own. The inhabitants – the Near Arbori – do not seem to notice these wonders. They do not have enough imagination, enough wonder, so the reasoning goes, to accrue much Attar.
Second, Far Arbor. This is the true place of dreams. Towers in incredulous heights, buildings of impossible architecture, palaces littering the streets and the skies. The inhabitants, the Far Arbori, don gowns with trains that gather crushed petals as they move. The Near Arbori cannot see the wonders of Far Arbor, for they are lacking in Attar. The city is guarded by walls, and surrounded by jungles.

Within Arbor, beyond the Attar, there are rumours of another city. Grander, more beautiful. The envoys do not want to speak of this place.

Such was the experience of ours within the dreams of Arbor. London’s Ambassador has requested entry for citizens of London, at least for visits. Though the opportunity is rare, it exists. Seize it, London, may it reveal itself to you.


Ask Mother Goose

Dear Mother Goose,
Oh, how many times more?
Unprepared


Dear Unprepared,
As fools learn.

29th of July 1897


Editorial

I do believe there is a sense of greater good in all of us. We fear for the future, we want it to be the best it possibly can. We, of course, cannot predict the future. There are possibilities, of course, some more plausible than others. There are many who say they have had a glimpse into what is to be. There are those who had deduced the progress of things long ago. There are those who know the secrets of the Neath.

It is noble, of course, to want to save what is dear to us. To fight for what we believe is right. Yet there can be folly in the short term. Future is a thing of mystery, thusly it is something beyond the scope of what we can know or see. When a seer sees the future, they see what will be, yet the true unknown is beyond even that. We can never plan, only prepare.

I welcome our new Lord Mayor, Virginia, and am eager to see what her leadership will bring. For the purity of soul – London had truly needed a spa for a long time.


Art of London

House of Troubles, Part IV
by Tuesday Next

The diner’s waitress didn’t bat an eye at the two men, one overdressed for three AM anywhere, the other in black skinny jeans and a hoodie, but instead seated them quickly in a booth by a foggy window, told them someone would be there to take their orders, and went back to the front and whatever was on her phone. Eli immediately opened his menu, blinking a couple of times as his eyes adjusted to the relatively bright light of the restaurant.
“So,” he said, lowering the menu and looking over the top of it, “one of the appetizers is something called blueberry pancake dogs. Wanna see what the hell that is?” Martin hesitated before saying, “Sure. Sounds interesting.”
“You don’t think they, like… flatten dogs, do you? With blueberries in their mouths?” Eli grinned at his own joke, his smile widening when he heard Martin chuckle.
“I doubt it,” he replied, “can you imagine how much of a fit PETA would be throwing over it if they did?”
“Oh yeah, I can see the billboards now.” Eli laughed, back at ease, “So I’m also thinking of trying those chocolate banana pancakes. Sometimes you just need a flavor combination that just doesn’t make sense.” Martin snorted, and Eli could’ve sworn he’d seen his friend’s eyes roll.
“Chocolate and banana isn’t that weird, you know,” Martin pointed out, “You just think it is.”
“I think, therefore it is. Isn’t that how it goes?”
“No. No, that’s barely even close to how it goes. Points for trying, though.” Just then, a different waitress came by and took their orders. After she left, Eli leaned back in the booth.
“Man, this is nice,” he said, “I needed a break from the whole band Madgod thing. It’s fucking exhausting.”
“I’m sure,” said Martin, “having to be on all the time like that must wear you out.”
“Well, I mean, I don’t have to be on all the time. Sometimes we’re just traveling. Then it’s playing cards with the others.”
“So do you ever regret doing it? The whole band thing?” Eli paused, considering, then shook his head.
“Nah. I still enjoy performing, and god knows I can’t see myself doing anything else. But I can’t really talk to any of the other band members, not like I can talk to you, or other people from home.”
“Not Marina, though?” Eli scowled at Martin’s mention of his sister’s name.
“Look,” he snapped, “I promise you she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore than I want to talk to her, so let’s just drop her as a topic, okay?”
“I doubt that she doesn’t want to talk to you, unless she’s changed drastically from the last time we talked.”
“Maybe she has. Or I have. Can we please talk about something else?”
“Eli,” Martin looked down at the table, took a breath, then looked his friend in the eye, “I need to tell you something.”
“What, did you talk to Marina recently?”
“Yes, actually. She’s the one who told me about your show tonight. Not my coworker. She saw on the band’s Instagram that there was gonna be a concert here and she called and asked me to check up on you.” Eli’s eyes narrowed, the purple and orange smears on his face wrinkling into creases as he nearly snarled, “What?”
“She’s worried about you.”
“Oh, is that what she calls it?”
“She said she’s afraid that you might be feeling alone after your mom’s death.”
“And whose fault is that?” Eli’s face was still hidden by the menu, but his grip on it had tightened, his knuckles whitening.
“What are you talking about?” Martin asked, “it’s not anyone’s fault.”
Eli slapped his menu down, “I guess you don’t have the whole story, then.” He sighed, took a deep breath, then stared into his friend’s face.
“Do you know why I left town right after Mom’s funeral?” Eli asked. Martin hesitated before giving his answer.
“You said it was band stuff.”
“That was a lie. As soon as the funeral was over, Marina told me that I shouldn’t go home. That she needed to handle this without me.”
“What? Why would she do that?”
“The drunk driver who killed Mom,” Eli’s looked down at his hands, now resting on the table and clenched into tight fists, “He was one of our fans. One of my fans. He had my goddamn butterfly on his t-shirt.”
“That doesn’t mean it was your fault.”
“Try telling Marina that. Clearly she’s so afraid of what I do that she got you to fucking spy on me.” Eli stood up, bracing his hands on the table, “Well you can go back and tell her that I’m just fine and fucking dandy, although I’d be better without-”
“Elijah.” Eli stopped in his tracks. No one called him Elijah. He hadn’t even heard the name in ages, not since he was a teenager and his mother was scolding him for his latest stupid stunt. Martin continued, a steel in his voice that hadn’t been there before, “Your sister was worried that you might be feeling alone after your mother’s death. Like she is. All she wanted was to know if you’re okay. After this, I don’t know what to tell her.”
“Don’t tell her anything,” Eli growled, sinking back into the booth. He crossed his arms, glaring at the placemat in front of him like it was suddenly the most interesting thing on the planet, “She’ll just use it against me.”
“Is that really what you think?” Martin asked, “Because I don’t think that’s the Marina we grew up with, or the Marina that called me. I think she made a mistake, and she wants to make up for it. I know she misses you.” He leaned down, trying to look Eli in the face, “And I think you miss her too.”
Eli blinked, and if his eyes seemed wetter, it must have been the light, or maybe the sweat from the walk causing some of the makeup to slip into them. After a long pause, he said softly, “She misses me?”
“Yes,” Martin replied, “Enough to talk me into going to a metal concert.”
“Tell you what,” Eli said after another long moment, “I’ll call her, and we’ll talk. You don’t tell her anything about this, because I will. Got it?”
“Works for me,” Martin said with a nod, “Now where do you think our food is? Staff here’s sure taking their time.”
“It’s what, three something in the morning?” Eli looked at his phone, then looked up. If there were tracks in the makeup remnants, Martin didn’t mention them. “They’re probably too busy wishing they were asleep right now. Oh, and speak of the devil,” he added as the waitress arrived with their food.
The rest of the time in diner passed peacefully, as Eli stuffed his face with pancakes, Martin nibbled at a sandwich, and they both discovered that pancake dogs were surprisingly decent. When they finished—Eli insisted on paying the bill—they stood outside, each waiting for their respective transportation and reflecting on the type of Uber driver who would pick someone up outside an inner-city greasy spoon diner close to four in the morning.
“Hey,” Eli said, “let me see your phone. You’ve probably still got my old number in there.” When Martin handed it to him, Eli quickly updated his cell number, then handed it back, saying, “Make sure you text me or something. I wanna keep in touch.”
“Of course.” Martin typed up a quick text and sent it, causing Eli to feel a buzz in his pocket, “In case you get sick of playing cards with the rest of your band.”
“And so you can tell me when you get a better job.” Eli smiled and added softly, “Thanks.”


News of Art, Art of News

The Mayoral Election Is Behind Us – First Lord Mayor Of London Revealed!

Dear delicious denizens! The election is behind us! We know the results now – of course, we also know that there is no longer a Mayor in London! As the Jovial Contrarian had revealed, as his last act, he asked Her Majesty to abolish the post, and instead, London now has a Lord Mayor.

This post, without further ado, of course belongs to Lord Mayor Virginia. The devilless has swept the polls, her plans of a spa and purity of soul surely speaking to many. We at the Gazette, apolitical as we stay, are still excited for a breath of fresh air in the Lord Mayoral office, and are eager to see the building of her proposed spa.

Glory to the victors, honour to the defeated, and power to the artists!


Ask Mother Goose

Dear Mother Goose,
Why calisthenics?
Confused


Dear Confused,
It is the noblest of exercises.

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